Fundus Rotundus - A Well-Rounded Motherhood

Automatic Reply: "I'm sorry." Wait, delete that. Start over with... "Thank you." You are the mother your child was meant to have. No one else could have had your child. They are you, in the sense that we're all connected. But mothers and children, even more so.  When you feel yourself disconnected from your child, ashamed of how you behaved around them, or frightened about a future without them, remember, your child was meant to come from you.  We can't claim total ownership or control over our children. They are their own beings. They have their own feelings, thoughts, beliefs, and experiences. Usually all of things happen without much influence from the parents.  But the wonderful thing about being a parent is you get to witness it all first hand.  This may be overwhelming. That's okay.  You're upset. That's okay. It's also okay for them to be upset.  Remember, your journey with your child is very different than their journey with you. ...

While planning what to write next, I realized how entrenched, and often unquestioned, motherhood ideals are. My thoughts of what a mother is "supposed" to be. Are those my own thoughts? Is that who I am as a mother? This external judgement criteria - where is it coming from? I was in the doctor's office when my son was a couple of weeks old. The doctor asked me how I was doing. I had to be honest. I was stressed - and not because of my son. He was just a baby being a baby with his needs and nothing more. I was stressed because I was looking for answers from others, and for validation that I was a good mother. But everything I read or heard was a critique. I realized that no matter what I did, according to someone, it wasn't enough according to someone else. I told her, "I just want to be his mother! I don't care about all the rules I'm supposed to follow. I just want him to know that I love him and be the best mother I can be. But there are so many ru...